A unique space where the women rule…

Every once in a while, I find myself stopping and reflecting on how truly amazing our dojo is.  Last Monday night, the last four students to leave were all women.  I can’t claim to have noticed that on my own — Dennis was the one to point it out with a smile and a comment on how that makes our dojo a bit unique, different.

In my first post here almost a year ago, I commented on just that uniqueness in writing about the honest, true and realistic (and humorous!) atmosphere that drew me into the dojo in the first place.  Our teachers are clearly the ones who set that tone with their own individual personalities and teaching styles.  And while that tone clearly creates a community that fosters learning, it also has drawn in an amazing group of individuals.

Today, Dennis once again repeated the statement that he would never want to go up against any of the women in our dojo.  I know what he means.  Having been an uke at one time or another for all of the following, I can tell you that:

• I feel sad for the person desperate enough to try and snatch the purse or bag of our dojo mom, Nancy.
• I pity the idiot who tries to stand between the Ninja Bunny and her daughter.
• I feel sorry for the foolish person who would ever dare accost the Pain Train that is Theresa.

That these are merely three examples of the dozen or more women with which I consider myself fortunate to train should tell you something:  The women here are playfully serious and imbued with a power and strength that is truly awe inspiring—or as some of the guys see it, frightening.  

Yet despite this inherent mental fortitude and ever increasing physical prowess, we have moments of doubt, fragments of time in which we are unsure of our steps on the path.  But in these slices, unlike anywhere else, we can and do draw upon the strength of our fellow kunoichi.  We are a community, a family, as full of diversity as we are of similarity.  We understand that there are physical ailments or limitations, ghosts of the past, or even trying situations in the present because we have stood in a similar place or some day very well may.  We don’t berate each other for these things or use them to jockey for position in some catty manner.  We aren’t competitive precisely because we aren’t training for sport—we are training for life.  Whether we are realistically attacking, talking out some current sticky situation or just lending an ear, within the strength and compassion of support there just is no rank.

This is just one of the many reasons why you might find us gals leaving as the dojo gets locked up at night.  We push forward for ourselves and, in turn, for each other. 

If you don’t train with us because you fear judgment, competition or hold in your head some stereotype of the martial arts, I encourage you to visit us.  I think you’ll find something different, unique.  You deserve to hold on to your property, protect your child and have the skills to defend yourself.  Let go of your preconceived notions for one moment and come on in.  We’ll stand by your side because someone has or will do the same for us.  You may just discover for yourself a place where women rule.

Danielle DeBlois
SMAC Student